In-Depth: “Unforgivable" - What Stephen Cherry's new book says about The Forgiveness Project
In this week’s newsletter, Marina shares her thoughts and reflections on Unforgivable? Exploring the Limits of Forgiveness by Stephen Cherry, Dean of King's College, Cambridge, and long-time friend of The Forgiveness Project.
There is something incredibly encouraging about reading a book on a subject that fascinates you and then coming across a section honouring the work that you do! So, first of all, I want to share what Stephen Cherry writes about The Forgiveness Project in his latest book Unforgivable:
“When it comes to the collection and curation of forgiveness stories there is nothing that stands comparison with the work of The Forgiveness Project in the UK. This represents a sustained engagement with the stories of people from all over the world who have struggled to avoid retaliation, vengefulness or hatred in the aftermath of harmful experiences.
It began in 2004 as a small exhibition of photographs and stories at the Oxo Gallery on London’s South Bank and has expanded to include a website which presents over 200 forgiveness stories.
Other products of the project include podcasts and a series of programmes on BBC Radio 4, a small graphic book entitled ‘Forgiveness is Really Strange’ and two full-length books by Marina Cantacuzino, who founded it.
Cantacuzino is a journalist by training, and her work seeks to draw attention to non-retaliatory or violent responses to harm, and is driven on by a curiosity and human interest in the variety of ways in which people navigate their way forward.
There is no one definition of forgiveness within The Forgiveness Project, but there is endless fascination in how people find their way to a future after harm, and the diverse alternatives to the pathway of hatred or retribution.
Sometimes this involves a real struggle to overcome vindictive emotions or the desire to get even. On other occasions forgiveness seems to come more naturally to people. The storytelling is non-judgmental and open, typically eschewing the conventional plot of ‘This awful thing happened to me but [drum roll] I reached out and forgave.’ It’s more like, ‘This is what happened and, as time went by, it opened up for me a whole range of questions about who I am and what I could possibly do to move on without making matters worse. It’s difficult to describe, but here is my story . . .’
The Forgiveness Project absolutely avoids taking a preachy or proselytizing approach to forgiveness.
The desire is to examine and probe what people think and feel after harm has been inflicted and to explore the various tactics they use to move on – without responding in ways that make matters worse.”
Ever since reading Stephen Cherry’s first published book on forgiveness, Healing Agony, I’ve been following his work with interest and his latest book Unforgivable? doesn’t disappoint. There is something very rewarding about reading a book which sums up an internal dialogue you’ve been having with yourself for years.
Unforgivable? explores the limits of forgiveness, tackling full on the often conflicted, contested and confusing debates around this most amorphous of subjects. Like me, Cherry believes
all talk and writing about forgiveness needs to be careful and non-prescriptive – especially when coming from a context in which forgiveness is a highly regarded virtue or has an odour of sanctity.
I have long questioned how forgiveness scholars often interpret the word ‘unforgiveness’ to mean holding onto to vengeful instincts, because, as Cherry suggests, forgiveness is not the only way forward after harm. The book is unusual therefore for offering a positive understanding of non-vengeful unforgiveness, something the author sees as vital if the harmed are to be given the respect and support they deserve.
Cherry also addresses the way in which Christian understandings often lie behind pressure to forgive, and he rejects any binary notions of what it means to forgive or not to forgive.
While some chapters expressly address Christian interpretations of forgiveness (and there is a fascinating critique of Desmond Tutu’s role as “advocate-in-chief of forgiveness”) this is not a book aimed solely at those with a Christian faith. This is a book for anyone who is interested in reframing forgiveness away from a sentimentalised or spiritualised interpretation, to one that is robust, fluid and multi-faceted.
- Marina Cantacuzino
We are delighted to offer visitors to this website a 20% discount to Unforgivable. To receive your 20% discount, follow the link below to Bloomsbury Publishers and enter the code FORGIVENESSPROJECT at the checkout.
What an excellent description and endorsement of FP it certainly resonates strongly with my experience. Thank you as always for all the amazing work you and the FP team do.
I’ve order the book too